no, i don't really have a secret blog (other than my daughter's blog), i've just been lazy... and busy... and tired. plus, facebook caters to all 3 of those attributes.
so here's a not so quick update for those who care.
-------------
family
madison is over a year old now and she's started her terrible twos. they haven't been full blown yet, but we can tell she's getting opinionated and the occasional tantrums are starting... plus, girls develop faster than guys, right? we're reading up on how to handle it, but so far, other than chasing her around to feed her, force feeding her, and holding her while she's eating... we're still surviving.
she's been walking and running. madison has inherited sunshine's "gracefulness" in that she's tripped and fallen so many times. and she has the bruises to show for it... combine her bruises with her mongolian birthmarks, which are still showing (they look like bruises). i'm surprised no one has called child services on us. madison loves climbing up and down stairs... up and down stairs... up and down stairs... (you get the point). :) but she's been great and fatherhood has been awesome.
and no, we don't have any news on the next addition. ;)
--------------
other things
for the past couple of years, i've been involved with this faith-based program in chicago (SLAM - Saving Lives though Athletic Ministries) that mentors high school aged at-risk youth from cabrini green. it has been a pretty heart-breaking and challenging experience... you learn about the household these kids grow up in and the neighborhood and environment that they're exposed to - drugs, sex, alcohol, teenage pregnancy, violence, gangs... the majority of the kids come from fatherless homes - and a lot of the kids have the reading / writing aptitude of a 5th grader...
background
the program that i'm involved with is a place where these kids can come and play games. the kids are divided into a bunch of teams and they compete in games. in addition to the games, there's a message; as well as team time, where the kids and their mentors get together and discuss the message. it's actually pretty neat the relationships that are formed; as well as just being able to mentor and share God with a kid. a lot of the kids have the general understanding God & Christ - it's the living out that they struggle with. and that's where we have to show them that it's possible to live out; as well as help them grow. actually, the neat thing about the program is that it helps us mentors grow as well - i'd say the majority of the time, we're helpless... we can't rely on ourselves and have to rely on God. a lot of the times, we can't get ahold if the kids - no cell phone, cell phone expired, no way of contacting them, they're arrested, etc. it's definitely taught me personally how to let things go.
anyways, i've been assigned two kids for the past years - t and r. and they've been such a blessing and they've been such a challenge to my faith. i've got plenty of crazy stories you'll have to ask me later on about them. through the weeks of being their coach and by God's grace, we've developed pretty good relationships - they'll call me just to see what's up, which is pretty neat. At first it wasn’t easy though, I’d ask them how they were doing and their answer was always “chillin”. One word responses were common during team time… and getting ahold of them during the week on the phone was an adventure.
it's interesting how different they are when you're at SLAM (in a group) versus when you're one-on-one with them. i'm not sure what the mentality is, whether you have to keep your street cred or whatever, but in a group, you have your rebels and instigators – the kids love to play fight… but one-on-one, the guys are totally different or else it's because i have so much street cred that it's okay for them to let down a bit? kidding…
t is the goofball of our group - he loves to make people laugh; but he's also pretty deep. i actually brought him to our church one sunday (a chinese church, hehe). he REALLY enjoyed himself here and mentioned to me on several occasions that he liked how everyone was friendly and talked to him like they've known him for years. he even stayed awake during our pastor's entire message. as i drove him home, we actually had a decent talk about his family and how he's never knew his dad. he then mentioned to me that he wonders whether not having a dad growing up contributed to his messed up life. that really struck me because that's one of the missions of SLAM - fathering the fatherless. he's also shared with me that he wants to finish highschool and that he'd be the first person in his family to finish. he's definitely been my challenging kid - he's tested me, tested my patience and trust, and he's broken my heart, but i really see the potential in him and God really has impressed it on my heart to try and be there for him. he's been locked up a few times and I’ve visited him a couple of times… it really does break your heart…
anyways, this past week, i get a call on thursday from one of the coordinators of SLAM. i thought it was a little odd that i'd be getting a call during the day since i wasn't involved this summer... well, the coordinator told me that word on the street was the t had been shot. i asked her whether she was sure because i had talked to him the day before. she asked me to confirm it... so i called him... and his mom picked up. she told me that he had asked her to call me and let me know where he was at and stuff and to confirm the news.
i was able to visit him in the hospital and found out that he had been shot 3 times while walking home with his brother & some friends. he got hit in the arm, the thigh and the ankle... but he felt blessed because the bullets didn't hit any major arteries... which is amazing. for those that pray, keep praying for his recovery; as well as for God to use this experience to draw him closer.
we knew the day was coming - i had it circled on my mental calendar, but chose to try and ignore it, as if it'd go away after getting no response...
but like telemarketers, it didn't go away, and the day arrived.
october 23rd... known before this year as one of my good friend's birthdays... known this year as the day our 7 month old daughter madison would be going into surgery.
our daughter was born with polydactyl, a sixth toe, which was fused with her fifth toe, causing her fourth toe to droop a bit. the doctors had told us the best thing was to treat this between 6-12 months, before she starts walking and crawling a lot, and before the bones fully form and it'd be much more painful. if she were a boy, we’d keep it cuz it’d be a cool thing to show at a talent show… but girls are a little more sensitive with this kind of thing – although i’ve heard that the new james bond girl has a 6th finger…
and because our daughter is still young and not able to control how many hundreds of times she kicks in a minute, she'd have to be put under general anesthetic, have a breathing tube inserted down her throat, and an IV inserted as a lifeline... all in our 20 pound baby.
so we scheduled it for the 23rd - a thursday.
the week prior was filled with worry, fear, and more worry. we cherished the time we were able to spend with her happy, smiling face... and we cried when we had time alone to think about impending surgery. we were reassured of God's sovereignty and His control by the amazing amount of people praying for us and Madison. and we were freaked out reading about horror stories of infant anesthesia.
we arrived at children's memorial hospital at around 7:20AM and checked in madison. she was in pretty good spirits and we were playing with her. at around 7:30AM, they moved us into a room, where a nurse took madison's vitals and such. she was in pretty good health, minus a runny nose. we'd be sucking out her boogers all week, which she thoroughly enjoyed. (end sarcasm) i guess the thing with anesthesia is that you won't be able to cough, so there is a risk of fluids going into your lungs, which isn't a good thing. also, irritation to the throat from the breathing tube combined with a cold isn't the greatest combination.
at around 8AM, the anesthesiologist came in with her resident. the anesthesiologist was a middle-aged woman, who looked like she could break me with two fingers. the resident was a younger, indian girl, who had the deer in the headlight look. the anesthesiologist immediately gave us the rundown - if our daughter was sick, she might have to cancel the surgery and madison might have the spend the night dependent on how she came out of the anesthesia...
the resident then did the vitals and asked us the same questions that we'd answered 44 times previously to other people...
"no, she's not on any other medication"
"she last ate at 3:30AM, breast milk"
"she had a little bit of water before 6AM"
"yes, she has a bit of a runny nose"...
as the resident asked us whether we had any questions, she was a little lacking of confidence in answering those questions, so we saved some of the questions to the anesthesiologist. as the anesthesiologist came back in, she announced to us that she was going to check madison to make sure her resident didn't miss anything... what a vote of confidence for her resident eh? we asked her what gas they were using for madison - isoflurane or sevoflurane. she looked impressed that i knew the two gases... little did she know that 6 months earlier, i had spent 15 hours working on a fill line that filled isoflurane and sevoflurane and breathing that stuff in. there are less people reactionary to sevo than there are to iso from what i've read, so it was a relief that madison was to get sevo.
anyways, i digress...
after the anesthesiologist left, our doctor came in. our doctor is one of those bigger gentlemen that makes you feel immediately comfortable. if i were a doctor, that would definitely be the attribute that i'd work toward. he's reminded us a bit of santa claus. he explained to us what was to be done and that we had nothing to worry about. they were going to remove the inner bone / toe and then possibly put a pin in her toe, dependent on how stable the other toe was. if they put a pin in, they would put a cast on... one of the residents offered a pumpkin cast... but since she was going to wear it into thanksgiving, the orange might lose it's luster... so we went with pink.
after the doctor left, the nurse came in to give madison a shot. the shot was a sedative that was to calm madison's nerves down so that she wouldn't remember too much and that separation from us would be tolerable. all i can say is that i probably needed the shot more than madison. as madison started to feel the effects of the shot, she started to get a little goofy, staring up in the air at the lights all contorted like. all the nurses were watching her and smiling... she has that kind of aura about her. luckily they were watching her, otherwise they would've seen me bawling like a little girl.
my wife and i decided to go down to mcdonalds to grab some food. i was amazed at how strong my wife was... eyes watering, but no tears at all. we prayed together at breakfast - actually i had her pray because if i would've said anything, i would've started crying... and it's not too manly of men to cry, we're supposed to be the strong one.
haha, figures, since my wife has always wore the pants in our relationship.
as we were eating, my brother came by to support us, which was awesome. we started talking about other things and got our minds off of the surgery... after we finished eating, we went back upstairs and waited.
as time passed, the more worried i got... but after about 2 hours, the doctor came by and let us know that the surgery went well and that madison had a pin in her toe and a pink cast that went all the way up past her knee. haha, the reason he explained was that they were afraid she'd kick off the cast if it were just over her ankle, which makes sense. he explained the procedure and told us what to look for when we take care of her and he even gave us his cell phone, home phone, and work phone in case we had any questions, which was pretty amazing.
the nurse came in and told us that madison was awake and that we could go see her. we followed the nurse and there was our daughter, disoriented and crying. my wife ran to her and held her and we fed her, since she hadn't eaten in 7-8 hours. we were released from the hospital about an hour later. the first day back, madison was still recovering from the surgery, but a couple days later, she was back to normal and trying to kick that pink cast on her leg off. thank God and all our friends/family for being with madison and us throughout this procedure.
we went on our first flight to NYC with madison over labor day weekend. with all the horror stories we've heard, we were prepared for the worst. i had my wallet out ready to buy people drinks, sunshine had 'nursing cover' to throw madison under in case she fussed...
[side note to all the new moms out there - learn how to put the nursing cover on beforehand instead of having your husband put it on and try to figure out how it works. ]
but madison did well. she cried a bit when we first got onto the airplane because everyone was staring at her and it was super hot on the plane. (good ole united made us board last after gouging us for $15 for a carry-on... i guess the free lap seat gives them the right to leave us until last eh? no wonder the whole airline service has gone down the drain...) but she settled down after a bit and fell asleep shortly after we took off. a little doctor-prescribed benadryl does wonders... although we're now doubting it did anything...
security was also a hoot. sunshine decided to carry madison, so i was stuck with getting everything else through security: madison's duffle bag, madison's diaper backpack, my backpack, my laptop out of my bag, the stroller, my shoes... yup, i'm superdad. haha...
we got a sleep hat for madison as well... it covers up the baby's eyes, so that it's dark and they can sleep... here it is in use.
-----------------
here's a great youtube of our daughter... needs sound.
so we've been working with little maddy on her tummy time... for those that don't know, tummy time is supposed to help the baby strengthen their neck so that when they're lying on their belly, they can lift up their head and such. we weren't very consistent with having madison do her tummy time, because she preferred to lay in our arms (or we preferred to pick her up to hold her all the time). so, to partially alleviate this addiction of picking up madison and to make her do a little bit of tummy time, we would pick her up and do her tummy time laying on us. of course we didn't do this after she ate because she'd then spit up all over us like this video:
at first, all she did was lay her head on us and sleep or fuss until she was sideways... but soon after she began to try to turn her head and even lift her head... yeah, it was actually a huge accomplishment... but she still wasn't able to lift her head when she was flat on the ground... we're thinkign that our armpits really "encouraged" maddy to lift her head. so we tried rubbing our armpits on the flat ground, but that didn't work out very well. hehe...
[tangent]: another reason and benefit of tummy time is that babies don't get positional plagiocephaly (flat head). babies that spend a lot of time on their backs get flat head; otherwise known as bart simpson head.
my mom was telling me about how there are regions in china that you can tell where they're from by the shape of their heads. i'm wondering whether groening got his inspiration from that region in china... afterall bart is "yellow", isn't he? haha... represent! put some black hair on bart and it isn't that far fetched, is it?
we got so paranoid about flat head that we bought a donut pillow for her carrier for the longer amounts of time she'd spend in the car.
[/tangent]
anyways, prior to having madison, sunshine worked out with her company to extend her maternity leave by going back to work early and only working four days a week so that she can spend fridays with madison. on fridays, sunshine and maddy have been going to a gymboree class, where they sing songs together, dance, and pick up cute infant boys. this past friday, i received a picture message on my phone and what do i see?
my brother and sister-in-law decided to move to chicago recently...
since the last movie sunshine and i had watched in the theater was Love in the Time of Cholera, we spent this past friday night with my brother and sister-in-law (after picking them up from the airport) watching the movie Jumper. mind you that Love in the Time of Cholera wasn't OUR choice of last movie to watch at the theater before having a baby, our friends wanted to watch it... and as a result, the image of 60-something year old adults making love has been forever seared into our brains... *shudder*... but it's a great movie and you guys should all watch it! not.
haha, THAT movie brings out the whole debate on whether a guy is a stalker or not... if the girl likes him, then he's romantic... if the girl doesn't like him, then he's a creep/stalker... isn't that true? and if you're 60-some years old and have been stalking the same girl for that many years... you're umm... yeah... you can draw your own conclusions...
anyways, we watched jumper and thought it was awesome that Darth Vader could teleport through time with just a thought... and that summer from the OC liked him... but we weren't sure why she had broken up with seth cohen... and then we were even more confused when the guy from snakes on planes was there too... i guess you'd have to watch the movie.
after the movie, we thought, wouldn't it be cool if we had that power? then the weirdest thing happened as i was sitting there with maddy...
disclaimer: please disregard my "baby" voice... my friend pointed it out to me that i was talking in a high-pitched cutesy voice (which i forgot to get out of that mode when making the video) and it's not my proudest moment.
haha, it could've been done much better... the funny thing is that i made a video beforehand with madison sitting up against the couch... but i was by myself, so she sort of tipped over when she was "jumping"... hehe... so i got rid of that one (i got the shaking of the head from sunshine).
edit: sorry, i'm sort of new at this whole youtube embedding... vid should work now
plus, facebook caters to all 3 of those attributes. 
there are less people reactionary to sevo than there are to iso from what i've read, so it was a relief that madison was to get sevo.
]
